I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
