guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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