at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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