My hand turned me down
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You left your phone here
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