did you get engaged???
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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