; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
we're so committed to being not committed
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
