update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
