its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
