no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
