fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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