I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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