I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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