hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
