You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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