My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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