and next time when you feel me up, do it right
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
