I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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