So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
