why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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