So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
