then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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