we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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