pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
