As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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