Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
