3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
