This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
