he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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