my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
