Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
they're like a gay fantastic four
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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