Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
