Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
