fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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