I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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