I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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