At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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