No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
