Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
