Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Randomize
