god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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