So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
