So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
