yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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