how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
