You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
