I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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