What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
