he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize