Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
