carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
