I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
