Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
