I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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