Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
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