And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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