It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
